the Psalms.

I usually have a hard time with being consistent in reading my Bible, but these past couple of months have been different. At the beginning of the school year I knew that I needed to get myself into a routine including spending some time in the Word everyday. I'm really bad at picking out random passages to read and I usually just pick out parts that I am already familiar with and that I know I like. So I decided to read through the Psalms, taking it only one or two a day and pairing them with some passages from the New Testament, usually the Epistles because they're my favorites. It was really great at first and I just wanted to keep reading them but instead paced myself so that I could spend more time really reading into them instead of reading over them. I was comfortable with the early Psalms because they seemed familiar... and I had a lot of them highlighted or underlined already which of course means that they are really good. Towards the middle (and this is where I wish that I had paid better attention in New Testament class so I really knew what I was talking about... oh well) they start to get kind of depressing because they are laments and complaints and stuff like that. Those ones were pretty rough to get through, but I made it out alive. Finishing up the entire book was super exciting and I was actually pretty sad because I looked forward to reading a Psalm everyday and now I have moved on to other books. But anyways, I just wanted to share my thoughts and things I learned from reading through the Psalms...
1. I learned how to praise and adore God a lot better through words and how to see Him in everything.
2. I learned a lot more about praying and how to pray 'better.' Sometimes after reading I would go over the words and make it into a prayer and incorporate it into my conversations with God during that week.
3. Talking to God is easy and we should just tell Him everything and talk to Him all the time.
4. We are pretty much nothing compared to God. My favorite verse I came across during this Bible poetry journey was 78:39 - "He remembered that they were but flesh, a passing breeze that does not return." This is not the typical 'trust in the Lord and praise His name' passage, but it really struck me as to how worthless and unimportant we are, yet God still sent His son to die for us. Even though we were sinners and still continue to knowingly live in sin, He had mercy on us.
So ya, just some random thoughts and rambling sentences on how great it was to read through the Psalms.

His patience.

A lot has been on my mind recently. What do I want to do with the rest of my life? Is switching my major a bad decision? Why don't I have a boyfriend? Why does school have to be so hard? How do I keep God first in my life and how do I know what His will for my life is? On top of that I get overwhelmed with homework and keeping up friendships, stressed about exams and just want to be at home. My Heavenly Father sees all of this and knows every single one of my thoughts, questions, and doubt; He's the one who made me. He knows me better than anyone else, fabricated my personality just to fit me and knows all of my deepest needs and desires. He is also the only one who can fulfill those needs and desires. It must hurt Him so much when I lag in self pity and get upset over the things of this world when He is right there with me the entire time, walking alongside me, and I don't even notice or acknowledge Him. All He wants is for me to talk to Him and share my heart with Him. His love for me is so passionate and patient, yet it is so easy for me to look for love and acceptance from other people even though I know it only leads to disappointment. I keep chasing after earthly things that will never satisfy, all the while God is waiting for me with open arms, just wanting me to be in His presence and love Him and give all of my attention to Him. I disappoint Him everyday, yet He waits for me and His enduring love for me is unfathomable.

slight grunt.

So, getting the urge to add a new post at the same time I'm supposed to be studying is becoming a pattern. Maybe a not healthy pattern, but whatever. Sometimes it's nice to get all of these bouncing thoughts in my head out and typed up for the world to see so my brain is nice and clear before I dive into the oh so exciting world of transport in vascular plants. Yes, just admit it, I know that you are super jealous you don't have a Biology exam on friday too. Anyways, it's been a pretty solid day - no rain, good hair, comfy outfit and I'm in the perfect mood to do some hard core studying. On the fourth floor of the library, right at the end of some book shelves in the stacks there are some cozy chairs with their backs to the shelves facing the wall. Well, I use the word cozy very carefully, I mean the chairs are cozy compared to the desk chairs, but very uncomfortable compared the love seat in my living room at home. But they great for the library. So, before I pick which one to sit in I have to do walk by to see which ones are available. This is a somewhat complicated process because I have to walk very slowly and peer down the row of books all while continuing to walk forward and not look too ridiculous because there are other people watching me and I don't want to look like a complete weirdo. It involves some amateur acting skills. The first two chairs are clear. The third one was occupied, well I couldn't exactly tell, but there was a water bottle and a backpack so I just assumed. Then I continued walking and the next two were clear too. I then walked to the end of the hallway and stared long and hard at bookshelf, pretending to be search for a book, then grunted a little (it was very slight grunt) to show to anyone that may have been watching me that I was unsuccessful in finding my book so of course I had to turn around and walk past the shelves again. Hopefully by this time anyone who had seen me earlier forgot I had just walked by. Now I had to pick chair. There are five chairs, why would the only other person sitting in the chairs pick the one in the middle? For real. That leaves me with only two options, of course I'm not going to sit in one right next to her, so I had to pick one on the end, both of which are right by doors pumping in cold air. But I finally settled on a chair, even though I have to sit on the end by the door...I'll get over it.

chocolate milk.

Growing up, chocolate milk was the best thing in the world. My sister and I would find the biggest glass in the cupboard and fill it pretty much to the rim with milk. Then we always had to ask mom or dad if we could make chocolate milk. They usually said yes, but only use a little chocolate syrup. Well, while they were looking we would only use a little bit of chocolate syrup but as soon as they weren't paying attention anymore we would go back the fridge and add enough syrup to make our milk look almost black. Looking back, that's actually pretty gross and I don't think I would ever do that again, but as kids it was awesome. Pretty much everything as a kid was awesome. Life was so carefree. We played outside until it was dark, watched Disney movies, colored for homework, played school, and didn't worry about which major we were going to choose and what career path we were going to take or how we were going pay for our student loans. We weren't burdened with the troubles of the world and we thought that life was over when mom and dad made us go to bed early or visit the dentist. Now, I would love it if someone made me go to bed by 9:00, but that is unrealistic due to all the papers and homework and reading that has to be done all the time. All of this growing up stuff that I'm going through gives the illusion that I am not entering full time adulthood, but really, who am I fooling? For lunch the past week I've been eating peanut butter sandwiches along with an apple and pretzels and of course chocolate milk. And yes, I do drink my chocolate milk with a straw. Not only has my appetite resembled that of an elementary student's lunch box but I am also making a list of Disney movies that I want to watch when I go home for break. And on top of that my study breaks involve my box of magic markers, my Care Bears coloring book, and either classic Disney music or old Britney Spears, which is practically what I grew up on. So when growing up seems too hard and gets overwhelming, I know exactly where to find some chocolate milk.